{ "OH NO!" }

I was running some errands today. In between appointments, I decided to take Peyton into the gas station with me and get a drink. Mmmmm....I was so excited to get me an ice cold fountain drink. It's been awhile.

Well as I was standing there filling up my cup, I noticed some man probably in his early 40's standing really close to me. For sure invading the personal bubble. I thought it a little odd, looked at him, smiled and turned back around though. All of a sudden, I get a whiff of something awful. Then I hear the man say, "OH NO!" I turn around (man still standing super close) and I see he has poop ALL over his leg and shoe. I'm like, "Oh gross. You stepped in dog pooh!" And start checking to see if I had stepped in it too.

Then I look down by my feet and see a MASSIVE pile of poop! HUMAN POOP! It was definitely not dog poop. The man had literally crapped his pants as he was standing inches away from me. And with the amount of poop on the ground, there is NO WAY he was wearing underwear! SO GROSS!!!!! He continues to say, "OH NO! OH NO!" and then begins shaking his leg (he was wearing shorts) that has poop all over it trying to get it off. I am dying. Saying, "Oh gross. Please don't shake it. Please." as poop is flying everywhere!

The smell has quadrupled by now and me being pregnant, start to get the "I'm gonna puke feeling." Oh great. All we need now is a pile of puke next to the huge pile of poop! I am trying so hard. Don't puke. Don't puke. I had the loudest dry heaves you've ever heard (louder than you mom) and the puke starts to come. It's coming up my throat. Don't puke. Don't puke. Peyton starts crying, "Mommy. What is it? What is it Mama?" I'm yelling, "Don't move Peyton" in between my dry heaving.

As this is taking place, the man (who I have definitely realized by now is a little bit slow) finally gets out of my personal bubble (although he left his poop in the bubble) is running around the whole store, shaking his poop leg all over!!! Then he grabs napkins and tries to start picking up his massive piles of poop and put it in the garbage can. While at the same time smearing it everywhere.

It was quite the experience. I was so proud that I kept my puke down. The man finally left the store (after the workers were yelling at him saying, "Get out! Don't come back! You can't keep doing this." I went to buy my stuff and the worker said, "I am SO sorry. Just take it all. Don't even worry about paying." Apparently this wasn't the first time it had happened :). Quite the experience. I felt so bad for the guy but also SO bad for the poor workers that now had poop all over their entire store. I said to them. "Don't be sorry. I'm sorry for you! I'm not the one that has to clean it up and stay in this smelly place!"

So note to self. If you ever notice a strange man standing super close to you. Don't just let him because you feel bad about saying something. You never know when you'll get pooped on again! I think I'll try a new gas station next time. For some strange reason, my Diet Dr. Pepper just didn't quite taste the same.